Happy 6th Birthday Waist High.

 

Hard to believe it was 6 years ago this month that Waist High the blog debuted with a post about the surprise discovery of a sequel to Thomas Dolby's 1982 classic "Europa and the Pirate Twins." 

Hard to believe it has been nothing but uphill from there. 

6 years later and only one blog devoted exclusively to one man's hatred of me, 6 years later and I have accepted my first advertiser, 6 years later and I have received my first invitation to receive an "associate producer credit," for work I am set to do, 6 years later and I am now getting mentioned on some pretty distinguished websites, 6 years later and I am finally getting the respect I deserve, 6 years later and I am finally getting semi-famous and shit. 

I live and breathe this music, walk beside me in the rain and let's see what happens next! 

XOXO, 

Waist High 

Photo: The Waist High Collection

Waist High Turns 5.

1,387 posts, 4 stalkers, and 109,548 page hits later, Waist High is celebrating 5 years!

And with perfect timing, a very special gift arrived from London; my copy of Totally Wired: Post-Punk Interviews and Overviews by Simon Reynolds. 464 pages of goodness:

From the author of the bestselling post-punk history Rip It Up and Start Again comes Totally Wired, a companion book of conversations with the brilliant minds who made the late seventies and early eighties such a creative era for radical music and alternative culture.

Totally Wired features thirty-two interviews with post-punk’s most innovative musicians and colourful personalities - Ari Up, Jah Wobble, David Byrne, Green Gartside, Lydia Lunch, Edwyn Collins - as well as other movers and shakers of the period: label bosses and managers like Anthony H. Wilson and Bill Drummond, record producers such as Trevor Horn and Martin Rushent, and influential DJs and journalists like John Peel and Paul Morley.

Thank you readers for 5 great years! And a very special thank you to the great Richard Evans at remembertheeighties.com, Faber and Faber Ltd., Simon Reynolds, and everyone else who helps to keep this amazing music alive. Here's to 5 more years!

Have You Updated Your Bookmarks Yet?

 

waisthigh.net 

Photo: The Waist High Collection

Stay True To Waist High.

4.5 years after coming into the blogosphere with this post, Waist High remains one of only a handful of New Wave Music Bloggers in the world, and can now officially declare herself an international sensation. She continues to be loved, and she continues to be hated.

If you have been a reader since the beginning, you already know why Waist High is hated. If you have not been around since the beginning, the simple explanation is that ALOT of people across the globe do not believe that music created by machines is "music." Well, that, and because she is a "cheap broad who grunts."

As the recently unearthed document above shows, Waist High really was telling the truth 4.5 years ago when she jokingly told you that she was, "one of the biggest losers to ever attend West High School," which just goes to show that she has always been true to her readers, and if you have followed the posts over the years, also goes to show that she continues to stay true to that pronouncement as she inches onward towards her 41st year on earth.

Stay true to Waist High and come with her over to the brand new waisthigh.net, where she will: continue to bring you everything you need to know about the music that was, "rewritten by machine and new technology," continue to be cheap, continue to grunt.

Photo: The Waist High Collection
Quote: Geoff Downes, Trevor Horn, & Bruce Woolley

Happy 100,000 Page Views Waist High!

Happy 38th Birthday Waist High.

Card that I wish was a joke, courtesy: The Waist High Collection

The Bitch Is Back.

From one of our great American cities. And take a look at the hateration that occurred while I was gone: (via that shrew Bake Town 3/10/06)

Todd and I went to the theatre tonight. We went to see Pageant at the Stars Theatre Restaurant. And this is my B.B.Q.& A. of our evening out...

Todd, you're a long time reader of Bake Town. How did you first get sucked into the sickness that has become B.T.?
Well...I found Waist High's blog first, by Googleing 'Bakersfield+Stop+Smoking' then I knew who Chrissy was from high school, then I saw the links to your blog and found it SO MUCH FUNNIER that I decided I liked it much better.

Really? And why did you find Bake Town more enjoyable than Waist High?
Because with Bake Town I don't have to re-live all the horrible 80's bands.

That's pretty harsh Todd, what's wrong with 80's bands and/or Waist High's obsessive compulsion to honor every miniscule milestone of 80's bands histories?
(Todd - folding over with laughter.)
Because most 80's bands sound gay and constipated.

Okay, Todd. We've established that you don't like Waist High and 80's gay bands...what is it that you do find appealing (if anything) about Waist High?
(Todd - doubling over with laughter.)
I never said I didn't like Waist High! I...I...I...enjoy all of her posts. And I do admire that she is stubbornly stuck in the 80's regardless of what anyone says.

Okay, change of topic (cuz I'm sick of talking about Waist High)...

Note to self: Bake Town must have forgot about all of those incriminating photos that I have of her. Dumb girl.

Photo courtesy of: the city's online newspaper

Peace Out Fools.

The drop dead gorgeous Waist High is off for a week's vacation in another state to:
1. Get some of this sun thing that you people keep talking about.
2. Celebrate many things.
Least of which is the fact that she is somehow the same age as other people. That look really old.

Photo of a 38 year old man courtesy: arlingtonpd.org

Happy 2nd Birthday Waist High.

Hello folks that probably have too much time on their hands, therefore resort to reading my mother's blog, reminiscing on nostalgia that is long gone. This is the Lovely Teenaged Daughter reporting to you live from Waist High's cave.

This week marks 2 years that my mother has written about a barrage of pointless eighties facts. The bigger issue that we face is not the fact that my mom has devoted two years to documenting big haired has beens but how does she continually find new things to write about the past? Day in and day out, she never ceases to write a post about things that have no bearing on this day and age in 2006.

You have to give this lady some credit, not only does she spend way too much time posting about things that happened 20 years ago, she still listens to the same horrific music she did when she actually was 18. Looking through her Windows Media Player I find an assortment of crap. The woman is hungry like the wolf for eighties memorabilia. The woman is sedated in the eighties. She's more eighties than Molly Ringwald. Is that possible?

All kidding aside, where would you be without knowing which washed up has been's birthday it is today? How would you live without her pictures of Depeche Mode circa 1984? This world would be a scary place without Waist High's devotion for the nostalgia. Is it weird that my mother's current obsession is her 20 year reunion? Most people don't even want to think about the idea that they graduated 20 years ago. Two decades.

As long as my mom is still listening to A Flock of Seagulls and taking pictures of the West High football field, she will be writing in this blog. Happy two years MOM. Don't forget that your Lovely Teenaged Daughter is graduating this year, so you might have to save a little bit of your film to take pictures of MY SCHOOL and post them on your blog.

Photo courtesy: The Waist High Collection

No Title Needed.

The sign says it all.

Courtesy of: a reader that spends the too much time that he has on his hands at those "sign generator" sites.

Proof That Waist High Is Indeed Crazy.

6. (from Waist High 7/15/05): "If you thought that the owner of the largest collection of West High School photographs in the world would be invited to be on the West High School Class of 1986 reunion committee, who is meeting for the first time Aug. 7, you would be wrong. If you happen to think that the creator of a website NAMED AFTER WEST HIGH SCHOOL would be invited to be on the West High School Class of 1986 reunion committee, you would also be wrong."

5. Waist High the website is the exact same color as West High the school. Check it out here.

4. Waist High's #1 irritant Bake Town suggesting that I am crazy (Bake Town is irritating, but smart): (From Bake Town 10/24/05): PROOF THAT WAIST HIGH IS CRAZY

Waist High has finally provided me with the irrefutable proof that she is certifiably insane and in serious need of heavy medication and strenuous therapy. Really people, I think we need to stage an intervention. This is an excerpt from a recent email sent to me from Waist High.

"I didn't tell you yesterday but as we were talking on the phone, I had 3 West High yearbooks in my purse." 3 WEST HIGH YEARBOOKS IN HER FRIGGIN PURSE!

Scary, huh? This woman is SO obsessed with her former high school she CARRIES HER YEARBOOKS AROUND WITH HER! Seriously, she needs to be studied.

3. Oh, and the matter of a full time reader wondering if I wanted him to go break some kneecaps while he was in the Southern California area on business (and me actually wondering if 4 hours would be too far for him to drive)

To: waisthigh@_________.com
From: ---------@___________.com

Will I be close to the original West High School and those ladies on the committee? You know, I know people who "take care of things." Or, I could always just ding dong ditch them. Let me know.

2. Look at my tag line.

1. After being Shunned From The Aforementioned Reunion Committee, I continue to work on the West High School Class of 1986 website, spending 25+ hours just this last week alone.

Might I present to you, my labour of love, the West High School Class of 1986.

For Those Of You That Follow Waist High's Every Move...

My vacation to Palo Alto California and various other Silicon Valley locations was a gas. The lovely lady you see with this writer is "M." "M" was the most wonderful and most pregnant of hosts. "M" grew up representing the "805" and has been Waist High's friend for 26 years.

Here we are at the San Jose airport, Waist High wearing "the shoes." This photo was taken just 2 hours before returning to Portland and being picked up by a fellow who likes my hands. The D12 music aside, we spent the next 9 hours on what I believe now, was the perfect date.

Don't Ever Be Mistaken.

This is what happens here.

Gottschalks? On The Committee. Brocks? Not On The Committee.

From the Waist High vault comes the following transcript of Bake Town's interview of Waist High. This, before Bake Town got all famous and shit.

1. How does it feel to be the No. 2 Bakersfield blogger?
Do you enjoy badgering me BakeTown? Didn't I teach you everything you know? You may be the No. 1 Bakersfield Blogger, but I was the first. I am the O.G. You are Gottschalks, I am Brocks.

2. Why don't you write about where you live? Does it suck that bad?
The standard for "Blogging" is much higher here than it is for the Bakersfield community.

3. How in the hell do you know the birthday of every single 80's rocker?
Richard Blade speaks to me through my espresso maker.

4. Why do you think you developed OCD over West High?
Wouldn't you if you were in possession of the only copy of the poem "West High In Less Than An Hour"

The school's all green
The teachers are mean
They don't even keep the bathrooms clean

The freshmen look funny
The principal is a dummy
Mr. _______'s so old, he's almost a mummy

Mr. _______ is a ____
____ __________ makes me sick
When Chrissy lights up
_____ flicks her bic

5. What is your favorite thing to do when you visit Bakersfield? (Besides get drunk and going to Mexicali.)
I have been taking walks on the same route since 1988. I did it to loosen up my baby box when I was pregnant with My (Now) Lovely Teenaged Daughter. (More than getting drunk), it is what I look forward to the most. It begins in Westwood Estates, winds back through eastern Amberton then through Kern City, past Sundale Golf Club and then back down through Westwood. Most peaceful thing ever. Although sitting in the West High bleachers is a close second.

6. Do your friends in Oregon think you're as strange as your friends from Bakersfield do?
I don't have any friends in Oregon.

7. What is your fondest memory of your time in Bakersfield?
You really have to ask?

8. What do you miss most about Bakersfield after you haven't visited in a long time? (Besides getting drunk and going to Mexicali.)
The sun.

9. What is your reaction when you hear someone talking crap about Bakersfield?
I scare them with my crazy face. I cross my eyes. I tell them to move away because I know Judo. 

10. Oh, Keeper of the Sacred High School Memorabilia - When are we going to have our 1st blogger convention?
When I start getting some respect up in here.

(Keep in mind that Bake Town is now on the West High School Class of 1986 20 Year Reunion Committee. Keep in mind that they went ahead and forgot to invite Waist High to be on that committee. Keep in mind that Waist High is the owner of the world's largest West High School photo and memorabilia collection. Keep in mind that THIS WEBSITE WAS NAMED AFTER WEST HIGH SCHOOL.)

Photo courtesy of: The Waist High Collection

Blog For 44 More Years? Sure. Suck In My Double Chin Every Time I Take A Picture? Not So Sure.

The details of Waist High's "Calculated Health Span" Report would not only bore you, but would make you vomit so I shall not bother. You will be happy to know however, that you could possibly enjoy this fine web site until the year 2049 because Waist High's CALCULATED HEALTH SPAN is 81.5 years.

Healthspan Calculator

Have a good weekend.
Photo courtesy of: The Waist High Collection

Alright, maybe one detail:

Alcohol, consumed in the amount that you have indicated, can be toxic to your liver and your nervous system. For some, amounts such as this could mean you are addicted to alcohol.

Having a problem with alcohol will shorten your health span and will certainly decrease your quality of life. Seeking assistance and treatment is critical.

"You'll See Your Problems Multiplied, If You Continually Decide, To Faithfully Pursue, The Policy Of Truth..."

Of the handy tips from Can You Be Fired for Blogging? Waist High has decided that she is NEVER EVER going to use this one: "Ask about the company blogging policy before you start, even if you are doing it anonymously."

Never.

Waist High Is Currently Enjoying...

1. Being recognized by Google for what I really am. May you burn in Hell "Rampart" for referring to me as "Advanced Maternity Age."

2. The all new, redesigned Geek In The City, where Waist High made the cut for "Dork Tested, Geek Approved Blogs." Quite an honor! We continue to love the Geek and everything he has done for all the displaced and heartbroken Rick Emerson listeners far and wide.

3. Being included in this prestigious bunch.

4. Living without her beloved alarm clock. Two reasons. 1. A very kind person has taken pity on me and calls to wake me up for work. It's like a personal wake up service AND I LOVE IT! Annoying "BEEP BEEP BEEP" sound? Not anymore! 2. Although living without an alarm clock has been a strain on the entire family, I might now be able to say with absolute certainty that I am the WORST MOTHER EVER. Quite an honor too!
You decide...

Who: Waist High to Lovely Teenaged Daughter
When: This morning, as LTD needed to get up for school
Where: Yelled loudly from the bedroom of Waist High to the Bedroom of LTD
What: "Get up Dummy!"

Why You Done Do Me That Way?

If you removed Waist High as a link because Waist High is stupid, that is one thing. If you removed Waist High as a link because Waist High is ugly, boring, irritating, or lives in the Pacific Northwest, that is another thing. But if you removed Waist High as a link just to "prove a point" then SHAME ON YOU!

Oh, and I almost forgot, it was this week in 2004, before Bake Town had her "Press Pass," before Bake Town achieved her "Celebrity Status," (clearing throat) before Bake Town EVEN EXISTED, that Bakersfield blogging pioneer Waist High, was answering the tough questions.

Photo courtesy of: eweek.org