Ditching the original idea for this post after reading that long time Waist High enemy Bake Town is not only in love with her bed, but admitted on the internet to being a slut, Waist High would simply like you to read something from msn.match.com. Oh, I almost forgot, but not before reading Bake Town's little slip: "I've begun a new love affair. This love affair is different from any I've had before. I know it will last. I know I can count on it to bring me hours of pleasure, comfort, and support. You see, this love affair is with my bed. Now I've been loving my bed for some time now. It is the most comfortable bed in the world. Everyone says so."SHOULD YOU WED THE FIRST PERSON YOU FALL FOR?"How many people should you wine and dine before you can feel confident enough to say you've met your one and only? Believe it or not, mathematics has the answer: A dozen. 'Check out and reject 12 people, then pick the next best that comes along, and you're likely to have a very good match on your hands,' says Clio Cresswell, a mathematician and author of Mathematics and Sex. That's because when it comes to decision-making, formulas reveal that your chances of picking the right answer improve as you expose yourself to more options. But there does come a point when you are over-researching: If you date and reject 30 or more potential mates, 'you've probably met someone that you could possibly have been more than happy with, and passed them over,' notes Cresswell."
From one of our great American cities. And take a look at the hateration that occurred while I was gone: (via that shrew Bake Town 3/10/06)
Todd and I went to the theatre tonight. We went to see Pageant at the Stars Theatre Restaurant. And this is my B.B.Q.& A. of our evening out...
Todd, you're a long time reader of Bake Town. How did you first get sucked into the sickness that has become B.T.?
Well...I found Waist High's blog first, by Googleing 'Bakersfield+Stop+Smoking' then I knew who Chrissy was from high school, then I saw the links to your blog and found it SO MUCH FUNNIER that I decided I liked it much better.
Really? And why did you find Bake Town more enjoyable than Waist High?
Because with Bake Town I don't have to re-live all the horrible 80's bands.
That's pretty harsh Todd, what's wrong with 80's bands and/or Waist High's obsessive compulsion to honor every miniscule milestone of 80's bands histories?
(Todd - folding over with laughter.)
Because most 80's bands sound gay and constipated.
Okay, Todd. We've established that you don't like Waist High and 80's gay bands...what is it that you do find appealing (if anything) about Waist High?
(Todd - doubling over with laughter.)
I never said I didn't like Waist High! I...I...I...enjoy all of her posts. And I do admire that she is stubbornly stuck in the 80's regardless of what anyone says.
Okay, change of topic (cuz I'm sick of talking about Waist High)...
Note to self: Bake Town must have forgot about all of those incriminating photos that I have of her. Dumb girl.
Photo courtesy of: the city's online newspaper
Where she said about the infamous "Flicker" Street in Bakersfield California (which with the constant flick of a white pen ALWAYS said "Fucker" Street):
"KLLY 95 is asking people to call in and share what they think is the WORST street name in Bakersfield. One of the DJ's suggested that Flicker is the worst. I can't imagine why. I can honestly say that in the thirty years I have been going to Flo's house off Flicker I NEVER ONCE thought about it being dirty until Waist High brought it up. Proving once and for all what a potty mouthed, gutter minded, trash talker Waist High is."
Waist High would like to "Talk Street" with Bake Town by presenting to her the street that Waist High's place of employment is on. No trash talking necessary. Beautiful.
Photo of the actual street that Waist High's place of employment is on courtesy: The Waist High Collection
That is a pretty sweet view to wake up to, now isn't it Bake Town? And nowhere do you see a next door neighbors' ball+sack+trailer+hitch.
Photo from Waist High's bedroom window: The Waist High Collection
Waist High only made it to #5, there is still room for you at the top.
So Bake Town: I am off with my visiting from Bakersfield friend and we are going up to Timberline for a day of snowboarding. Yes, that is the lodge where they filmed The Shining. Yes, it is beautiful. And no, I don't have to leave my county to get there.
Bye!
The "Nut Job" with the better back porch than you! You really got me with the unexpected and really old picture of Brocks. That was a good one! I'll give you that. IT WAS GOOD.
But I'll bet I've got better teeth than you. Look at those things. They're perfect.
Photos courtesy of: The Waist High Collection
But I'll bet the view from my back porch is better than yours.
Photos from Waist High's actual back porch courtesy: The Waist High Collection
Bake Town
HOMETOWN CRIER AND WAIST HIGH AGITATOR
Who began her response with, "You are such a pain in the ass."
WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU CURRENTLY GROOVING TO?
The CD I have in my player right now is an 80's compliation a friend made for me. A couple modern bands that I like are bands like Fountains of Wayne & Sloan.
WHAT, IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, IS YOUR ALL TIME FAVORITE ALBUM?
Probably The White Album. But there are many others that I could also choose.
WHAT WAS THE FIRST ALBUM YOU EVER BOUGHT? AND WHERE DID YOU BUY IT?
The first album I ever had was The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour on 8 track that my brother bought for me. I can't really remember the first record I bought but what ever it was I bet it was at the Plaza.
WHICH MUSICIAN HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO BE?
Madonna, one of the Go-Go's or the lead singer from Bananarama. Oh yeah, and Sheryl Crow.
WHAT DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
A song I learned watching the Brady Bunch.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SATURDAY NIGHT RECORD?
A mix of my favorite dance tunes from the 70's.
AND YOUR SUNDAY MORNING RECORD?
All Things Must Pass by George Harrison.
No silly, these are not hanging in front of my house, but now that you know what "shoes on the wire" means, I wonder if we would find more of these in your town or mine? Hmmm.
From the Waist High vault comes the following transcript of Bake Town's interview of Waist High. This, before Bake Town got all famous and shit.
1. How does it feel to be the No. 2 Bakersfield blogger?
Do you enjoy badgering me BakeTown? Didn't I teach you everything you know? You may be the No. 1 Bakersfield Blogger, but I was the first. I am the O.G. You are Gottschalks, I am Brocks.
2. Why don't you write about where you live? Does it suck that bad?
The standard for "Blogging" is much higher here than it is for the Bakersfield community.
3. How in the hell do you know the birthday of every single 80's rocker?
Richard Blade speaks to me through my espresso maker.
4. Why do you think you developed OCD over West High?
Wouldn't you if you were in possession of the only copy of the poem "West High In Less Than An Hour"
The school's all green
The teachers are mean
They don't even keep the bathrooms clean
The freshmen look funny
The principal is a dummy
Mr. _______'s so old, he's almost a mummy
Mr. _______ is a ____
____ __________ makes me sick
When Chrissy lights up
_____ flicks her bic
5. What is your favorite thing to do when you visit Bakersfield? (Besides get drunk and going to Mexicali.)
I have been taking walks on the same route since 1988. I did it to loosen up my baby box when I was pregnant with My (Now) Lovely Teenaged Daughter. (More than getting drunk), it is what I look forward to the most. It begins in Westwood Estates, winds back through eastern Amberton then through Kern City, past Sundale Golf Club and then back down through Westwood. Most peaceful thing ever. Although sitting in the West High bleachers is a close second.
6. Do your friends in Oregon think you're as strange as your friends from Bakersfield do?
I don't have any friends in Oregon.
7. What is your fondest memory of your time in Bakersfield?
You really have to ask?
8. What do you miss most about Bakersfield after you haven't visited in a long time? (Besides getting drunk and going to Mexicali.)
The sun.
9. What is your reaction when you hear someone talking crap about Bakersfield?
I scare them with my crazy face. I cross my eyes. I tell them to move away because I know Judo.
10. Oh, Keeper of the Sacred High School Memorabilia - When are we going to have our 1st blogger convention?
When I start getting some respect up in here.
(Keep in mind that Bake Town is now on the West High School Class of 1986 20 Year Reunion Committee. Keep in mind that they went ahead and forgot to invite Waist High to be on that committee. Keep in mind that Waist High is the owner of the world's largest West High School photo and memorabilia collection. Keep in mind that THIS WEBSITE WAS NAMED AFTER WEST HIGH SCHOOL.)
Photo courtesy of: The Waist High Collection
(I'll get you my pretty...)
A day old female Red Faced Black Spider monkey whose mother died after giving birth, is shown at the Estoril Zoo in Sao Bernardo do Campo, 20 miles south of Sao Paulo, Brazil, on Wednesday, Aug. 10, 2005. A contest will be held to name her.
Photo courtesy: AP/Alexandre Meneghin via news.yahoo.com
From Bake Town, who is forever ripping on Portland, comes:
The five-day forecast is as follows:
Tues - 105
Wed - 108
Thurs - 106
Fri - 105
Sat - 105
Burr. It's kind of cold here, I think I will go turn up the heater.
As I read Bake Town's desperate cry for help I tried to keep in mind that she was posting from 100+ degree weather as I was safe in the comfort of a 64 degree Portland summer day.
Oh, and I almost forgot, it was this week in 2004, before Bake Town had her "Press Pass," before Bake Town achieved her "Celebrity Status," (clearing throat) before Bake Town EVEN EXISTED, that Bakersfield blogging pioneer Waist High, was answering the tough questions.
Photo courtesy of: eweek.org
Lovely Teenaged Daughter got a quick lesson from Waist High yesterday on the advantages of Bloglines. With a privileged invitation from Bake Town still sitting in my inbox, Waist High has yet to sign up, but has heard it's cool. With limited knowledge, I explained to LTD how it works. We also talked about having a Blog, AND NEVER POSTING. But that's a story for another day.
I explained to her that when you utilize Bloglines, you know exactly how many posts your favorite blogs have added since you last checked in. It will monitor them for you so you don't have to.
Waist High: "So the name of the blog will have a number next to it like a 4 or a 1."
LTD: "So, like, Bake Town's would have a 50 next to it?"
Hey Bake Town: we forgot to tell our readers that we both got carded when we dined at Mexicali in Bakersfield California last week!
Waist High has been thinking that although it seemed annoying at the time, it quite possibly meant that we look so young and so fabulous that our server wasn't quite sure if we were yet 21. And to a couple of 37 year old broads, that is a good thing.
Well, your favorite sour puss is back from a 9 day vacation not to be forgotten any time soon. Two days at The Venetian in Las Vegas, a very high speed drive across the Mojave Desert, some good hang time with my pal Bake Town which included dinner at Mexicali, some nice but brief time with family, and the obligatory slithering around of the campus of West High School.
I met some of Bake Town's friends and they are quite fabulous. Last Sunday I enjoyed a get together party at her house and had one of the tastiest suppers in recent memory. Prepared by Bake Town herself. She is a damn fine cook. It was during this meal that Bake Town schooled us on the advantages of (and the disadvantages of not) recycling. The above title of this post refers to a quote from her angry tirade on what happens if you do not reuse grocery bags.
To my loyal readers, I continue to thank you for remaining loyal even when there has been extended periods of no new posting. My promise to you is that I will resume entertaining you as soon as possible. Just as soon as my sinuses recover from the dust.
