9/15/2006
But is now the mother of an adult, when on Sept. 4 her daughter Morgan turned 18. She can now, according to her, "Do whatever the fuck I want."
I, Waist High, promised myself before I left Oregon for my reunion that when I returned I would take a stab at having a social life. I became even more determined to keep that promise to myself after telling many fine folks at the reunion, who told me that they read my blog, that the reason that I can blog is because "I have no life."
So, so long for now folks, this is Waist High signing off, and who better to do that for me than my beautiful and witty adult daughter. But let me just first say FUCK YOU KERN COUNTY DRUNKARD, AND FUCK YOU JED!
Hello old people with nothing better to do than read someone else's blog. This is the Lovely Teenaged Daughter reporting from Waist High's lair, and I just finished explaining to my Mom what 'bringing sexy back' was. And she claimed she just heard "My Humps" for the first time on Thursday. I laughed merely because that song is over a year old now. She is currently sanitizing the entire house wearing a Duran Duran t-shirt. My Lovely Wannabee Teenaged Mother informed me today that this is going to be the last post of her blog and that I need to make it "funny." I ignored the fact that I am just her puppet for funny blog posts and gasped at the fact that she said "last post." LAST POST? Who does Waist High think she is? Honestly, who is going to post a happy birthday every other day to some washed out 1980s singer that most of you forgot was even still alive. Who is going to blog about her adventures to West High to take pieces off the wall to show me that in fact, her web site does match the original color of West High.
So Waist High is calling it quits for now, and all I can say is that I hope she takes up a new hobby because she is sure going to have a lot of free time now that she isn't spending all of her time being sedated in the eighties. With the time she's spending not blogging she could probably knit me a quilt. Maybe she can finally start buying holiday sweaters and driving a mini van and being middle aged like the rest of the world.
Who am I kidding? My Mom will always listen to The Specials and Duran Duran and drive a beat up Taurus that I refer to as "the bathtub." Even if she isn't blogging about 1986 she will always be Waist High. I think that's what makes my Mom so quarky is that she doesn't wear holiday sweaters like most of the fat housewives that live in this town, and she doesn't live off a husband who works while she stays home and makes it her job to pack sack lunches and watch Days of Our Lives. All my friends think she's my sister and I think that's what makes my mom so cool.