Aloha Mr. Hand.

"Recent testing on a severed hand that has stumped police and cryptologists alike for years shows the shocking truth about Bigfoot: the legendary man-beast has no DNA. After years of research, compiling data from experts across the country, Bigfoot hunter Tom Biscardi has proven that the monster he's been chasing all these years is a lifeform completely foreign to anything that modern science has even considered."

Material meant to scare Waist High, who works in an area of Oregon where there have been
116 Bigfoot sightings, sent by a long time Waist High friend.

Photo: cryptomundo.com