12/13/2005

Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be "Childern."


To just jump ahead: the moral of this story is DON'T MAKE GLOVES OUT OF DIRTY TUBE SOCKS YOU FOUND LAYING AROUND THE "FACILITY OF CORRECTIONS" WHERE YOU WORK.

Sunday evening on my ride home from work, the temperature around these parts was a breezy 24 degrees, and because I have no self control and continue to smoke EVEN AFTER BEING HYPNOTIZED TWICE, I rolled down the window for my relaxing 4 cigarette, 29 minute journey home. Believe me when I tell you there is no relief from the cold in the Waist High mobile because Waist High's heater does not work, and has not worked for a very long time. By the time I got home, and because I was not wearing gloves because I do not own any, the tips of my fingers had started to freeze.

So the next evening at work, knowing I still did not own any gloves, and was facing similar temperatures on my 4 cigarette, 29 minute journey home, I made some homemade gloves.

As Waist High was leaving the building for the 29 minute, 4 cigarette journey home, she shivered with hometown Bakersfield pride as she heard, what she herself already knew, but had been waiting her whole life for someone to confirm: "You are officially white trash!"


Photo captured in the town of Kennewick Washington courtesy of: rickemerson.com