Stories? Oh We've Got Stories.

Tri-Tip? Tri-Tip. Tri-Tip. Tri-Tip.

Might I remind you that you are Waist High's Special Correspondent? You were elected to that position because you have got stories. And my readers want stories. They are fed up: "Where are all the stories...on your toolbar you list characters, but all I see are washed up rockstars...tell stories. Tell tell tell."

If we are going to tell stories, you are probably going to have to:
1) Start reading this site.
2) Keep saying things like, "Damn. I don't have any of that stuff. I've lost it all. Only things I have are all my police reports."