The Animals Are Winding Me Up.

With The Telegraph, Contact Music News, The Mirror, and even Waist High friend and trusted source Richard Evans reporting that Frankie Goes to Hollywood WILL REUNITE, the staff here at Waist High are non-believers.

(From Contact Music News):
Eighties pop icons FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD are planning a comeback tour. Frontman Holly Johnson reportedly decided to reunite the group after a Virgin Atlantic commercial made their most famous song, "Relax," a hit again. The track's intro appears in a special ad to celebrate the airline's 25th anniversary.

Johnson has refused to confirm the reports - but a representative for Virgin reveals, "We're thrilled our adverts helped persuade Frankie Goes to Hollywood to make a comeback. It's a great coup for us and '80s pop fans will be equally delighted."

Official Statement from the Editor-in-Chief of Waist High

As I sit here on this scorching July 4, listening to "Warriors of the Wasteland," I would like to say that on this beautiful planet of earth, you will find no greater fan of Frankie Goes to Hollywood than myself. You will also find no greater doubter of a FGTH reformation on this beautiful planet of earth than myself and my staff. And if Frankie Goes to Hollywood does reunite, it will not be with Holly Johnson. It has been tried before, and it has failed. There is a greater chance that retired Waist High "Cast of Character" The Kern County Drunkard, or me for that matter, will front the band on a possible reunion tour.

To wit:

On Season 1 of
Bands Reunited in January 2004, VH-1 managed to bring all 5 original members of Frankie Goes to Hollywood back together for the final show of the season.

Paul Rutherford, Peter Gill, Mark O'Toole, Brian Nash, and lead singer Holly Johnson all came together, but in the end Johnson was the lone dissenter, and refused to sing for a short reunion concert. And my heart broke.

In November 2004, Trevor Horn, one of the most successful music producers of all time, celebrated 25 years in the business at a unique Wembley Stadium concert in aid of The Prince's Trust. Thirteen of his best-selling acts, including ABC, The Buggles, Seal, Belle & Sebastian, The Art of Noise, Yes, and Grace Jones all came together to help celebrate his magnificence.

Holly Johnson refused to front Frankie Goes to Hollywood, one of Horn's greatest triumphs, in the tribute show for their legendary producer and in the eleventh hour was replaced with musical theatre actor Ryan Malloy. Again my heart broke. And with great force this time, as the Malloy & Co. Frankie Goes to Hollywood performed the great "Welcome to The Pleasuredome."

As much as I can hope and pray for a Holly Johnson fronted FGTH reunion, it will not happen, and if it does, not another soul on this beautiful planet of earth will be more shocked.

Prove me wrong Mr. Johnson.

Chris Fessler

Portland, Oregon