The Kern County Drunkard: It has been a very long time since Waist High or her Bakersfield correspondents have been able to report a sighting. Because Waist High will be in Bakersfield the weekend of July 28-30 for her high school reunion, and will undoubtedly end up in many a skanky Bakersfield drinking establishment, this all could change.

Rampart: Keep in mind that this is the individual who told the 'uptight' Waist High, in December 1987, to "Drink this six pack before I get back!" The outcome of that evening, the red headed child you see above, graduated from high school last month. Managed to play with his BlackBerry and not cry for all of the ceremony. Says he will "cry like a baby when she graduates from college" because graduating from high school is "not really a big accomplishment." Rampart was rumored to have called Waist High an "old bird" in reference to Waist High attending her 20 year high school reunion next weekend; Rampart was a high school classmate of Waist High's, Rampart will be in attendance for the same above mentioned reunion, and Rampart even paid his $60 registration fee before Waist High. It is unknown if he will be donning his usual attire of black socks with sandals.

The Stranger: Can't really talk about this 28 year old individual. That whole 'I can't talk about my love life on the internet thing' prohibits me from doing so. It was however two Fridays ago that the The Stranger became familiar with the 32 herb Czech Republic spirit
Becherovka, during an evening that in certain circles is now referred to as "The Becherovka Incident."

Tri-Tip: A shadow of the man he used to be, Tri-Tip recently requested that Waist High no longer quote him on her blog. Request has been respected. For the most part. Has become more than exasperated recently with Waist High's lengthy and vain "TO DO BEFORE THE REUNION LIST," most of which she did not get to. Expressed respectful disgust last week by stating that the only possible thing that he could think to have on his list would be "buy a pair of flip flops."

Priscilla: Waist High drinking buddy extraordinaire constantly advises Waist High to matter-of-factly brush off all "old" references as gracefully as possible, even though they are being fired at a rapid clip. Sometimes from individuals her own age. Tactfully reminded Waist High that although she is gearing up for her 20 year high school reunion, she doesn't look nor act 38 years old: "You don't wear the mom jeans and hello, you are (content removed by author.)"

Desi: Currently involved in some kind of love triangle, the details of which he will not discuss. Does not share the sentiment of Priscilla regarding Waist High's youthful appearance and behavior. Recently referred to Waist High as "like an older sister," ran to cleanse right hand with Purell Instant Hand Sanitizer after accidentally touching the hand of the elderly Waist High, publicly expressed amazement that Waist High is (content removed by author.) Was told that if the old jokes did not stop, was going to have to give Waist High "a massage with Ben Gay."

My Lovely Teenaged Daughter: Graduated from high school last month, and was forced by Rampart to secure a full time job merely one week later. Did not listen to Waist High who advised to wait until the summer was over to secure a full time job so that she could focus solely on getting drunk, "everyone's full time job the summer after high school." Refused an all expenses paid trip to her birthplace of Bakersfield California for Waist High's 20 year high school reunion because "anything over 80 degrees is too hot." Plans to never return. Continues to wear the same sunglasses she has worn since infancy. None too pleased to currently have a father that wears black socks with sandals, and a mother who is (content removed by author.)

Photos: The Waist High Collection